For once, you’re not lost to me
This is honesty
And honestly you flawlessly
Played me like a cello
I’m mellow under your touch
But the rush wasn’t enough
I was a lush
But only for you and not for any other reason than
I love you and you’re mine
And to define what I had in mind
Would take every inch of every letter from a to zed
As I lay in bed and wish I was to blame, instead
I brush your hair and I stroke your skin
And delicately you let me in
As I wake up and we begin
To breathe together again
See,
It’s true I’m over you
And I can’t find a rhyme to say
How much I wish I could start again
To lose my love and just be your friend
Because this is how I cope
I curl my lips and simply hope
That maybe someone just like you
Will come and talk to me, like you
Did when we were younger
Innocent, full of hunger
For life and all its treasures
Not strife and all its measures
I refuse to lose a single bruise
You were my muse
The fuse that I lit far too early
And we both lose so what’s the use?
You’re gone to me
And lost to me
Like a metaphorical lobotomy
I’m struck with the possibility
That probably or possibly
You might have been the one for me
And I’m so, so, sorry
That I ruined this
By doing this
Put you in this
Too new at this
I’m weak
And I’m sorry
I’m angry
And I’m sorry
I’m broken
And I’m sorry
But if there’s anything we need to fix
Now is the time to do it, quick
I’ll give you one year
One tear
Because I fear your ear might hear too much of what I’m saying here
If you think this is for you, it isn’t
It’s for the boy who stole a second chance
When other boys made second plans
For the boy who made you love him back
When other boys knew when to pack
It in
My dreams
We camped and you brought a tent
For us to share it was bent
But how could I forget
The words you sent the pictures went
To waste and I’m sorry
I’m sorry.
But I can’t take you back
The way you can’t take me back
Because let’s face it, your face I can’t erase it
But I was far too much for you
I’m sorry that I rushed it too
I blushed for you
Turned to mush for you
And all you said was “love you too”
I deserved nothing
No love no mercy no nothing
For you to say I’m miles away
When our hearts were inches from a holiday
It hurt
And I’m not going to spend my time constructing a stupid simile in the hopes that it will bring you back to me
It won’t and I’m being realistic
It won’t and I won’t miss it
I’m glad you found the strength to carry on
I have to admit, you’re very strong
Much stronger than the kid who closed his heart to other girls.
You see, none of them could quite compare to you
None of them had that air like you do
That hair like you do
That stare like you do
None of them were you
But I tricked myself
And I need help, I tricked myself
Into thinking you were what I needed
When really you were all that I wanted
And suddenly the East doesn’t seem that far away
At least we can take the car away
Let’s whisk ourselves into adventures
Grow old and buy dentures
Race in our wheelchairs
And sit in our real chairs
Let’s tell stories that we’ll both forget
Stories that skip through our heads
They’re from our hearts,
The same ones that tore us apart
I know I’m not smart because intelligence is just an extension of the love you have for yourself
And I hate myself
For once, you’re not lost to me
This is honesty.
It’s one in the morning and honestly
I’m proud to see the way you carry yourself
You’re still annoying as hell
But only because every time I hear that voice
I hear the choice that made the noise seem so distant
You’re distant, and insistent that we should be friends
But it’s harder to make ends meet than meet ends
Or beat pens to the page when the paper is thin
Your heart’s just a home to the life that’s within
Because you have it
You have what the world wishes it knew
What Mother Nature decided to give to you
What God himself believes is true
It’s love and I loved you
So thank you.
For knowing you hurt me
And for being so wordy
And if you asked me who told me
I’d say a little birdie
But I’m not a child, or a kid
I’m the last thing you did to me
You set me up as an enemy for myself and I’m still fighting ‘cause I need help
And lots of it
And lots of things I said to you were misconstrued but this is true I need you
To walk away and pretend you never cared, never shared, never were aware
That I was stubborn and broken I made you a token, a book that I wrote in with no ink
So I bled for you, shed for you, I made my hands scarlet red for you
That’s all, and for once you’re not lost to me.
This is honesty.
